CovenantRoad

Tag: Jesus

  • What Is Covenant Brotherhood?

    Covenant brotherhood isn’t a new idea. It’s not something we’re inventing or reimagining. It’s something ancient—something God-designed—that’s been largely forgotten.

    For most of history, men understood that they weren’t meant to walk alone. They knew that deep, committed brotherhood was part of what made them strong, part of what formed them into the men they were called to be.

    But somewhere along the way, that got lost. And in its place? A culture that isolates men, weakens bonds, and turns what was once sacred into something either ridiculed, ignored, or distorted.

    It’s time to recover what was lost.

    1. The Definition: What Is Covenant Brotherhood?

    Covenant brotherhood is a lifelong, Christ-centered commitment between men—a bond of loyalty, trust, and love that goes beyond casual friendship. It’s not just about being close—it’s about being bound by something unshakable.

    It’s built on:

    • Commitment – A bond that isn’t dependent on circumstances.
    • Accountability – Brothers sharpen each other and call each other higher.
    • Self-Sacrifice – Covenant isn’t just about receiving; it’s about laying your life down for your brother (John 15:13).
    • Christ at the Center – Without Him, it’s just friendship. With Him, it’s something holy.

    2. The Biblical Foundation of Covenant Brotherhood

    Covenant has been a key theme in God’s design for relationships since the beginning. And in Scripture, we see powerful examples of covenant brotherhood—bonds that went beyond ordinary friendship into something sacred.

    Jonathan and David (1 Samuel 18:1-4)

    • “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”
    • Jonathan didn’t just befriend David—he entered into covenant with him. He stripped himself of his royal robe and armor, symbolizing a bond of deep trust, loyalty, and sacrifice.

    Jesus and His Disciples (John 15:15)

    • “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends.”
    • Jesus wasn’t talking about casual friendship. He was establishing a brotherhood, built on commitment, mission, and self-sacrificial love.

    Paul and Timothy (Philippians 2:22)

    • “But you know Timothy’s proven worth, how as a son with a father he has served with me in the gospel.”
    • Paul and Timothy weren’t just teacher and student—they were bonded in deep, spiritual brotherhood, walking side by side in the mission of Christ.

    From the Old Testament to the New, God-ordained brotherhood has always been part of His design—and men throughout history understood this.

    3. The Historical Presence of Covenant Brotherhood

    For centuries, deep male bonds weren’t just accepted—they were celebrated and expected.

    Medieval Blood Brotherhood

    • In many cultures, men formalized their bond through blood covenants, swearing lifelong loyalty to one another.
    • These weren’t secret societies or military pacts—they were chosen families, men who committed to standing by each other in all things.

    Christian Monastic Orders

    • Early monastic communities weren’t just about solitude—they were about brotherhood. Men lived, worked, and prayed together in deep, lifelong commitment.
    • They understood that walking alone wasn’t the way—that holiness was sharpened in community, not isolation.

    Rites of Passage and Male Initiation

    • For most of history, men didn’t enter adulthood alone—they were brought into it by other men through rites of passage.
    • These initiations weren’t just physical—they were relational, bonding men together in shared purpose and responsibility.

    4. The Loss of Covenant Brotherhood in Modern Culture

    So what happened?

    Why do men today struggle to form deep, lasting bonds?

    Here’s what’s changed:

    • Radical Individualism – Our culture glorifies the lone wolf, pushing men toward isolation instead of connection.
    • Hyper-Sexualization – Close male bonds are now viewed with suspicion, as if all deep love between men must be erotic.
    • Loss of Rites of Passage – Without real initiation into manhood, many men drift through life without strong male bonds.
    • Church Weakness on Brotherhood – Many churches emphasize marriage and family (which are good!) but offer no real vision for deep male brotherhood.

    The result? Men are more isolated than ever. They lack the deep, committed friendships that previous generations took for granted.

    5. Restoring What Was Lost: The Road Back to Covenant

    The good news? Covenant brotherhood isn’t gone—it’s just buried. And it’s time to dig it back up.

    How do we reclaim it?

    • Recognize the Need – Stop pretending men don’t need each other. We were designed for deep male bonds.
    • Break the Lies – Brotherhood isn’t weak. It isn’t something to grow out of. It isn’t sexual. It’s biblical.
    • Commit to Your Brothers – Brotherhood doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built through intentionality, consistency, and shared mission.
    • Keep Christ at the Center – Without Jesus, it’s just friendship. But with Him? It’s covenant. It’s family. It’s something unshakable.

  • The Gift of Us

    Scene: Micah and Luke sit by a campfire under a wide Tennessee sky, embers popping soft. Micah’s got a stick in hand, poking at the flames—restless. Luke’s leaning back against a log, steady as ever, watching his brother wrestle.

    Micah tossed the stick into the fire and let out a long breath. “Luke, I’ve been thinking about us—about this.” He gestured between them, voice tight. “What we’ve got—it’s good, man—but sometimes I wonder if it could be more.”

    Luke tilted his head, eyes catching the firelight. “More how?”

    Micah shifted, boots scuffing the dirt. “You know—like closer. Deeper. Maybe step it up—cross that line. I feel it sometimes—this pull—and I think it’d make us stronger.”

    Luke sat quiet for a moment, letting the words settle. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and looked at Micah—steady, warm. “I feel it too, brother—that pull. Chest gets tight, lower parts stir—I’m not blind to it. But stronger? Nah, I don’t buy that.”

    Micah frowned, picking up another stick to fidget with. “Why not? Isn’t that what love does—grows bigger, takes you somewhere new? We’re tight—closer than I’ve ever been with anyone. Feels like the next step’s right there.”

    Luke nodded slow, like he was weighing every word Micah spilled. “I get it—feels natural, right? World says if it’s this deep, it’s gotta go there—romance, bodies, all in. But listen—I’ve been down that road in my head—felt the hum—thought crossing’d make it more. It doesn’t.”

    Micah’s grip tightened on the stick. “How do you know? What if it’s better—what if it’s what we’re meant for?”

    Luke exhaled, his breath curling in the cool night air. “Because I’ve seen what’s on the other side—not with you, but with others—back when I was lost. It’s fire, sure—but it burns out. Starts hot, ends cold—leaves you empty, chasing the next spark. What we’ve got? This right here?” He tapped his chest, then pointed at Micah. “This is warm—steady—keeps going. Doesn’t need to cross to be real.”

    Micah looked away, firelight carving shadows on his face. “But I feel it, Luke—stronger some days than others. Like it’s telling me something—telling us something.”

    Luke leaned in closer, voice dropping low but sure. “I know you feel it—I do too. That’s not a lie, and it’s not wrong. It’s just our wiring—old echoes kicking up—heart, body, all of it. But God’s not teasing us with that—He’s not dangling it to pull it back. He’s giving us something else—something bigger. This bond—this covenant—it’s a gift, man. Doesn’t need more to be everything.”

    Micah’s jaw worked, eyes still on the flames. “Feels like we’re holding back, though—like we’re missing out.”

    Luke shook his head, a faint smile tugging his lips. “We’re not missing—we’re holding onto what lasts. You cross that line, it shifts—turns inward—gets tangled—needs more to keep it alive. This?” He gestured between them, same as Micah had. “This stands free—soul deep—God’s breath in it. I’ve got you here—whole, steady—don’t need to own you to love you. That’s better—way better—than any step up the world’s pushing.”

    Micah let the stick fall—watched it catch in the embers—quiet stretching between them. “You really think it’s enough—just this?”

    Luke reached over, clapped a hand on Micah’s shoulder—warm, firm. “Enough? Brother, it’s more than I ever hoped for. You’re my rock—I’m yours—nothing shakes that. God’s not withholding—He’s handing us gold—love that don’t bend, don’t break. Feel that pull—sure—but let it sit—give it to Him. We’re stronger right where we stand.”

    Micah exhaled slow—nodded once—eyes softening as the fire crackled low. “I hear you. Just… takes some unlearning, you know?”

    Luke’s grin widened—hand still on Micah’s shoulder. “Yeah—I know. Took me a while too—still does some days. But we’ve got this—together—God’s got us. Ain’t nothing better than that.”

    Micah smiled—small but real—leaning into the warmth of Luke’s grip. The night stretched quiet around them—fire glowing steady—and for the first time in a while, the pull didn’t feel like a fight.

    It felt like a gift.

  • Letter to My Brother

    Brother,

    I don’t say it near enough. I probably should, but I need you to hear this. I thank God for you every day I’ve got breath.

    I don’t know where I’d be without this, without you. I think of those nights we’ve sat on the tailgate with our boots dangling, not saying a word because we didn’t need to. I think of those calls you’ve made, pulling me up when I’m sliding, your voice steady, reminding me who I am when the mirror’s foggy and I can’t see straight.

    This world’s cold, man. We’ve both felt it bite. That loneliness sneaks in, even when the room’s full. Folks see you but don’t get you, know your name but not your soul. I’ve walked that with my chest hollow, searching for something warm to hold onto.

    But not with you, brother.

    With you, I don’t have to front. I don’t need to flex, watch my step, or wonder if I fit. No masks, just me with my rough edges and dumb quirks, all of it. You’re home, brother, plain and simple, steady ground when everything else shakes.

    This thing we’ve got isn’t some fling that fizzles when life piles up. It isn’t built on quick laughs or easy days. It’s covenant, carved deep, soul to soul. I don’t toss that word around. It’s weight I carry, a promise I keep.

    If the world tugs at you, I’ll yank harder. If you drift, I’ll track you down with my boots on and coffee in hand. I won’t stop until I find you. If you stumble and hit the dirt, I’m there with my hand out. I ain’t letting you stay low, not on my watch.

    That’s us. That’s what we are.

    We don’t always go deep. Half the time it’s you roasting my coffee or me saying you owe me lunch. But don’t you ever think you’re solo on this road, not for a second. I’m making it crystal. You’re not alone.

    I’ve got your back, always have, always will.

    So wherever you’re at tonight, whatever’s sitting heavy on your chest, know this. I’m here. Miles don’t matter. Storms don’t shake me. Nothing changes it.

    We’re in this, locked tight, and I ain’t going nowhere.

    Yours, always,
    Josh

  • Not Alone

    Jason had been watching Eli slip for weeks.

    It wasn’t the kind of thing most people would notice. He still showed up to work, still laughed at the right moments, still answered texts. But Jason saw the difference. The way Eli’s voice had lost something. The way he never lingered after church anymore. The way his eyes were always tired.

    Tonight was the first time he actually got Eli to come over. No agenda, just burgers and a game on in the background. But Jason could tell—Eli was somewhere else.

    They sat on the porch now, the night quiet around them, crickets filling the space between their words.

    “You gonna tell me what’s going on?” Jason finally asked.

    Eli exhaled sharply. “Nothing, man. Just been tired.”

    Jason didn’t buy it. “Tired how?”

    Eli shrugged, staring at the ground. “Like…what’s the point?”

    Jason’s chest tightened.

    Eli shook his head. “I’m not gonna do anything stupid,” he muttered. “I just—man, I’m so tired of fighting.”

    Jason leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Fighting what?”

    Eli let out a humorless laugh. “Everything. Temptation. The loneliness. Trying to be strong all the time. Feeling like I’m the only one who walks into an empty house every night, wondering if this whole ‘choosing Christ’ thing is actually gonna be enough.”

    Jason swallowed hard.

    Eli kept going, voice raw now. “I know the truth. I know God’s got me. But it still hurts, man. And it’s like no one even sees it.”

    Jason didn’t speak right away. He just reached over and grabbed Eli by the shoulder, firm.

    Eli flinched, barely noticeable.

    Jason tightened his grip. “I see it.”

    Eli’s throat bobbed.

    Jason didn’t let go. “You hear me? I see you, brother. And I need you to listen to me real close—you are not walking this road alone.”

    Eli squeezed his eyes shut. His breathing was uneven now, something cracking open inside him.

    Jason pulled him in, one hand gripping the back of his neck, the other around his shoulder. Eli didn’t move at first—stiff, like he didn’t know how to accept it.

    Then, slowly, he let out a shaky breath and leaned in.

    Jason held tight. “I’ve got you. We got you. And you’re gonna make it.”

    Eli didn’t say anything. Didn’t have to.

    Jason could feel it—the weight lifting, the battle shifting.

    And for the first time in a long time, Eli let himself believe it.

    This one hits harder—real weight, real release. The physical touch isn’t just an extra detail—it’s part of what breaks through.

  • Already There

    Jake sat on the tailgate of Logan’s truck, staring out over the field. The last of the evening light stretched long across the grass, turning the sky soft shades of orange and blue.

    Logan stood nearby, tightening the straps on the cooler, slow and steady.

    “You ever think about how weird this is?” Jake asked.

    Logan glanced over. “What’s weird?”

    Jake exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “This. Us. The way we just… I don’t know, fit.”

    Logan raised an eyebrow. “Something wrong with fitting?”

    Jake huffed. “No. Just feels like—” He shook his head. “I don’t know. Like I didn’t sign up for this, but somehow, here we are.”

    Logan chuckled, shutting the cooler with a firm thunk. “That’s ‘cause you didn’t sign up for it.”

    Jake frowned. “What do you mean?”

    Logan leaned against the truck, arms crossed. “You think David and Jonathan planned to be brothers like that? Think they sat down, drafted up an agreement, made it official?”

    Jake smirked. “I mean, technically, Jonathan did make a covenant with David.”

    Logan nodded. “Yeah. But only ‘cause he recognized what was already there. He didn’t create it. He just stepped into what God had already done.”

    Jake was quiet for a second, letting that settle.

    Logan kept going. “A lot of men walk around thinking they’ve gotta build something like this from scratch. That if they want deep brotherhood, they’ve gotta go find it, make it happen.” He shook his head. “But covenant’s not something we manufacture. It’s something God writes into the grain—and we either step into it or we don’t.”

    Jake exhaled. “So you’re saying this—” he gestured between them—“was always gonna happen?”

    Logan shrugged. “I’m saying it was always possible. But you had to have the eyes to see it. Had to have the courage to say yes to it.”

    Jake picked at the edge of the truck bed, thoughtful. “So… I’m already in this, huh?”

    Logan smirked. “Been in it, brother. Took you long enough to notice.”

    Jake chuckled, shaking his head.

    The field stretched quiet around them. No need for more words.

    Some things don’t have to be built.

    They just have to be seen.

  • Walking It Out

    Zach sat on the park bench, stretching out his legs as he watched the sun sink lower over the trees. Tyler dropped down beside him, taking a long sip of his water.

    “You ever just feel… off?” Zach asked.

    Tyler glanced over. “How do you mean?”

    Zach shrugged. “Not like I’m doubting or anything. Just—some days, the whole celibacy thing feels easy. Other days, it feels like climbing a mountain with no summit.”

    Tyler nodded. “Yeah. I get that.”

    Zach exhaled. “So what do you do when it feels like that?”

    Tyler took another sip, thinking. “Honestly? I remind myself why I’m here. Not just the why not—but the why. The bigger picture.”

    Zach smirked. “Oh, here we go. Hit me with some deep wisdom.”

    Tyler laughed. “Nah, man. I just mean… I think about what I’d actually be chasing if I wasn’t choosing this. I think about how everything else is temporary, but this—this life in Christ? This brotherhood? It’s solid.”

    Zach nodded slowly. “Yeah. That’s what I keep coming back to, too.”

    They sat in silence for a moment, just taking in the stillness of the park.

    Tyler leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “You ever notice how people assume celibacy is all about what we’re missing? Like we’re just out here suffering through it?”

    Zach scoffed. “All the time. Like, ‘Oh man, you’re choosing not to be with someone? That must be so miserable.’”

    Tyler grinned. “Right? But they don’t get it. It’s not just about not doing something. It’s about living for something bigger.”

    Zach was quiet for a second, then nodded. “Yeah. And the crazy thing is, even on the hard days, I wouldn’t trade it. I mean, I get to live my life fully present, not chasing the next emotional high or trying to figure out where I belong.”

    Tyler leaned back. “Exactly. And we’re not doing this alone.”

    Zach smirked. “That’s the best part.”

    Tyler grinned. “Damn straight.”

    Zach bumped his shoulder. “Careful, man. We gotta keep it holy.”

    Tyler laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Work in progress.”

    They sat there a while longer, the sun dipping behind the trees. No rush. No weight of expectation. Just two brothers, walking the road together.

    And somehow, even on the hard days, it was enough.

    This keeps the focus on living it out—not on what they left, but on why it’s worth it now.

  • The Divide

    Josh tightened his grip on the steering wheel, jaw clenched. The streetlights blurred past as he drove, heart pounding harder than it should over something like this.

    I should let it go.

    But he couldn’t.

    Mike’s words from earlier still echoed, sharp and unfiltered. “You don’t get it, man. You think you do, but you don’t.”

    Josh had snapped back—something about always being there, about how Mike was the one pushing people away. Things escalated, and now here they were—silence.

    Three weeks. No texts. No calls.

    Josh pulled into the diner parking lot, killed the engine, and sat there. He wasn’t even sure why he came. Maybe just to stop feeling like he was waiting.

    Inside, the place was half-empty, the hum of conversation mixing with the clatter of dishes. And then—Mike.

    Sitting in the back booth, arms crossed, staring out the window.

    Josh exhaled, ran a hand through his hair, and walked over.

    Mike looked up as he approached, his expression unreadable. He didn’t nod, didn’t wave. Just watched as Josh slid into the seat across from him.

    Neither spoke at first. The waitress came, took their orders, and left.

    Finally, Josh leaned forward. “I almost didn’t come.”

    Mike scoffed, shaking his head. “Same.”

    Josh sighed. “So what are we doing here?”

    Mike didn’t answer right away. He tapped his fingers on the table, staring down at his coffee. “I don’t know. But I know I don’t want to pretend like none of it happened.”

    Josh nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

    Another silence.

    Mike shifted in his seat. “You were right about some things,” he admitted, voice quieter now. “But you don’t know what it’s like to carry this…this weight.”

    Josh’s chest tightened. “Then tell me.”

    Mike glanced up, eyes wary, but something in Josh’s face must’ve told him he meant it.

    And so he did.

    He talked—about the anger he’d been holding in, the things he never said out loud. About how sometimes the weight of past struggles, of feeling different, of wanting to be known but fearing being too known—how it all built up, and Josh had just been the guy who caught the fallout.

    Josh listened. Really listened.

    And when Mike finally ran out of words, Josh just nodded. “I hear you.”

    Mike exhaled, shoulders dropping. “So where does that leave us?”

    Josh studied him for a moment. “Same place we started.”

    Mike frowned. “What does that mean?”

    Josh leaned back. “You’re still my brother.”

    Mike let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “Even after all that?”

    Josh smirked. “Especially after all that.”

    The waitress came back, setting down their plates. The tension in the air had shifted—not gone, but lighter. Real.

    Mike picked up his fork, shaking his head. “You’re a stubborn idiot.”

    Josh grinned. “That’s what makes this work.”

    And just like that, the divide wasn’t so wide anymore.

  • When Brotherhood is Tested

    Brotherhood is easy when everything’s good.

    When there’s no conflict, no misunderstandings, no disappointments—sticking together feels natural.

    But what about when it’s not easy?

    What happens when your brother lets you down? When frustration builds? When something shifts, and the bond feels strained?

    This is where most friendships crack. Where the world says, Move on. Find someone else. Protect yourself.

    But covenant isn’t like the world.

    Brotherhood is meant to be for life, but that doesn’t mean it’s always smooth. Every deep bond will be tested—by conflict, by disappointment, even by betrayal.

    So what do you do when it happens?

    1. Don’t Let Discomfort Make the Decision for You

    A lot of men walk away from brotherhood not because of a real break, but because things got uncomfortable.

    • A hard conversation was needed, but neither side had it.

    • A misunderstanding went unaddressed, and resentment settled in.

    • One man expected too much, the other gave too little, and instead of adjusting, they drifted.

    Covenant doesn’t mean you never hurt each other. It means you fight through when you do.

    2. Face Conflict with Truth and Grace

    If a brother has wounded you, or if you’ve wounded him, the next move isn’t silence. It’s truth.

    • Speak honestly. Say what needs to be said.

    • But do it with grace—without assumptions, without accusations.

    • Give the same patience and mercy that you’d want to receive.

    Brotherhood requires truth. But truth without love destroys.

    3. Some Wounds Can Be Healed. Some Require Space.

    Not every conflict means the end of a bond.

    • Some wounds just need time, humility, and conversation. They can heal stronger than before.

    • Some require stepping back—not to abandon, but to let God do the work in both hearts.

    And yeah—some betrayals are deep enough that distance is needed. But even then, covenant doesn’t mean you stop praying, forgiving, or leaving the door open for restoration.

    4. When It’s Worth Fighting For, Fight For It.

    There’s a reason so many men feel isolated—it’s easier to walk away than to fight for a bond. But real brotherhood is worth it.

    So if there’s distance, reach out.

    If there’s tension, clear the air.

    If a brother is slipping, go after him.

    Because the ones who fight for each other? Those are the ones who will still be standing together years down the road.

    Brotherhood Was Meant to Last

    Jesus never said love would be easy. But He did say it would be worth it.

    Covenant isn’t just about the good times—it’s about the moments when it’s tested, when everything in you says let it go, but God says hold on.

    So when the test comes—and it will come—don’t walk away too quickly.

    Because the bonds that make it through?

    Those are the ones that last a lifetime.

  • The Edge of the Fight

    Mike sat in his truck, engine running, hands gripping the wheel so tight his knuckles went white. The glow of his phone screen lit up the cab, the open app staring back at him.

    It would be easy. Just a few taps.

    He hadn’t been here in a long time—not like this. Not with the weight pressing in so hard, whispering just give in.

    He closed his eyes, breath shaky.

    What’s the point of fighting anymore?

    It wasn’t just this moment—it was the exhaustion of always fighting. Always being the one trying to resist, trying to hold the line. Tonight, something in him felt like breaking.

    The screen blurred as he hovered his thumb over the button.

    And then—his phone rang.

    Josh.

    Mike just stared at the name, pulse hammering. He could ignore it. Could let it ring out.

    But his hands moved before his mind caught up, swiping the call open.

    “Mike?” Josh’s voice was steady, no small talk, just straight to it.

    Mike swallowed, pressing his forehead against the wheel. “Yeah.”

    A pause. “Where are you?”

    Mike exhaled through his nose. “Parking lot.”

    Josh didn’t ask which one. He just knew.

    “You already in?”

    Mike squeezed his eyes shut. “Not yet.”

    Silence stretched between them. Then Josh spoke, voice firm. “You’re not alone.”

    Mike let out a bitter breath. “Sure feels like it.”

    “You think that’s an accident?” Josh shot back. “You think that voice in your head is yours? That exhaustion, that pull—it ain’t just struggle, brother. It’s war. And you’re not fighting it alone.”

    Mike’s jaw clenched. His grip on the wheel tightened. He wanted to believe that. But right now, the weight felt so heavy.

    Josh’s voice came softer now. “Look, man. I know you’re tired. I know this fight feels like it’ll never end. But listen to me—this is not who you are. You’re not some lost man, crawling back to the pit. You are my brother. And I will not let you sit in this alone.”

    Mike’s throat tightened.

    “You want to sit there in silence, fine,” Josh said. “I’ll sit with you. But you’re not walking into that place, and you’re not going under. Not tonight.”

    Mike gritted his teeth. He felt the pull, still there. Still strong. But something else was there now too—a hand gripping his collar, refusing to let go.

    For the first time that night, the weight shifted.

    He inhaled. “Yeah. Okay.”

    Josh’s voice held steady. “Let’s go. I’ll meet you at the diner in ten. Coffee’s on me.”

    Mike nodded, even though Josh couldn’t see him. His hand hovered over the phone for a second—then he closed the app, threw the phone onto the passenger seat, and shifted the truck into gear.

    He pulled out of the parking lot. Out of the fight—for now.

    And not alone.

  • Firelight Rite

    The logs cracked and shifted, sending sparks into the night air. Nathan sat across from the fire, arms resting on his knees, eyes locked on the flames. The heat flickered against his face, but the tightness in his chest had nothing to do with the cold.

    Caleb sat beside him, rolling a stone in his palm, quiet. He’d been quiet most of the night, letting Nathan wrestle with whatever he wasn’t saying.

    Finally, Caleb spoke. “You ever notice how fire changes wood?”

    Nathan frowned, looking up. “What?”

    “The heat pulls something out of it. You can hear it—the sap hissing, the cracks forming. It burns, but it becomes something different.” Caleb turned the stone between his fingers. “A lot of guys think they just wake up one day as men. Like time will do the work for them. But that’s not how it happens.”

    Nathan looked back at the flames, swallowing. “Then how does it happen?”

    Caleb didn’t answer right away. He stood, grabbed a thick branch from the pile beside them, and tossed it into the fire. The bark sizzled, blackening, flame curling up its sides. “It happens when you go through something. When other men see you, speak into you, and won’t let you sit in doubt.”

    He turned to Nathan. “You don’t become a man by accident, brother. You step into it.” He held Nathan’s gaze. “And you’re ready.”

    Nathan exhaled. His hands clenched, then released.

    No one had ever said that to him before.

    Caleb reached into his pack and pulled out a knife. He flipped it open, then grabbed a thick piece of wood from the pile. “Mark it,” he said, handing the blade to Nathan.

    Nathan hesitated. “Mark what?”

    “This moment,” Caleb said. “Right here, right now. You’re stepping in. Make it real.”

    Nathan turned the knife in his palm, feeling its weight. He looked down at the wood, rough and unshaped, then glanced at Caleb. He wasn’t joking. Wasn’t explaining. Just waiting.

    Nathan pressed the blade against the surface and started to carve. He didn’t overthink it. Didn’t try to make it perfect. Just let the knife bite into the grain, cutting something real into what had been blank.

    When he was done, he sat back, staring at what he had made. It wasn’t much—just a symbol, a word, something only he and God would understand. But it was there. And it was his.

    Caleb leaned forward, nodding. “That’s it.” His voice was steady, sure. “You are a man, Nathan. No more waiting. No more questioning. Walk in it.”

    Nathan swallowed hard.

    The fire cracked again, and something in his chest cracked with it.

    He didn’t say anything. Didn’t have to.

    He just nodded. And for the first time, he felt it.

  • Campfire Reflection

    The fire crackled softly, sending gentle waves of warmth across the clearing. The sky above was moonless, filled with stars that shimmered like scattered jewels. James and Luke sat on either side of the flames, their faces flickering in the shifting light. Around them, the quiet of the night felt sacred, wrapping them in stillness. It was their favorite kind of moment—time carved out for rest, reflection, and the kind of conversation that came naturally now, after years of sharing their lives with one another.

    James stirred the fire with a stick, sending sparks dancing upward. “Remember that first retreat?” he asked, his voice contemplative. “When we sat by the fire and talked about who we were trying to be—what it meant to be a man?”

    Luke gave a slow nod, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Yeah. Feels like a lifetime ago. We were both carrying so much back then, weren’t we?”

    James leaned back against a log, exhaling deeply. “Still are, in some ways. But I think… I think some of that shame isn’t as heavy anymore. At least, not in the same way.”

    Luke tilted his head, his blue eyes reflecting the firelight. “Yeah. I hear you. I used to feel like I was drowning in it. I thought I had to fight those feelings alone—pretend they didn’t exist. And when I couldn’t, the shame just kept piling on. Especially after my marriage ended. I thought I was a failure as a man and as a Christian.”

    James nodded slowly. “I carried that same shame for years. Especially when it came to my attraction to other men. It was like this deep, unrelenting fear that something was fundamentally broken inside me—that I’d never be enough.”

    Luke’s gaze softened, his expression understanding. “I know. And I remember how hard it was for you to even say those words out loud. But now… here you are, saying it with peace in your voice. That’s God’s work, man.”

    James smiled faintly. “Yeah, He’s done a lot. I’m still learning to trust that I’m seen through His eyes, not through the lens of my past. I used to think God saw me the way I saw myself—ashamed, afraid, disconnected. But slowly, He’s been undoing those lies.”

    Luke poked at the fire with a long branch, sending embers flaring. “Same here. For a long time, I felt like intimacy—real intimacy—was something I’d never have. Not with anyone. I’d built so many walls, even with you at first.”

    “I remember,” James said quietly. “But those walls are coming down. Little by little.”

    Luke chuckled softly. “It’s funny, isn’t it? The world has all these boxes for what relationships are supposed to look like—friendship, romance, family. But what we have… it doesn’t fit any of that neatly. And that used to scare me. But now? I don’t care how the world sees it. I know what this is.”

    “Same here,” James agreed. He leaned forward, the firelight illuminating the quiet conviction in his eyes. “We’ve built something sacred. A covenant, in every way that matters. It’s not always easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

    Luke nodded slowly. “It’s like… Jonathan and David, right? The kind of bond where you know, deep down, God brought you together for a purpose. There’s a depth to it that can’t really be explained.”

    “Exactly,” James said with a soft smile. “We’ve been through the fire, and it’s refined us—not broken us. That’s a testament to grace.”

    They sat in companionable silence for a while, the fire crackling softly between them. The warmth of their brotherhood, their shared story, filled the quiet space. James stretched his legs out, letting out a contented sigh.

    “You ever think about how different life would be if we hadn’t met at that retreat?” he asked.

    Luke shook his head. “I try not to. Because honestly? I don’t think I’d have made it through some of the things I’ve faced since then without you. God knew what He was doing when He brought us together.”

    “Yeah,” James murmured, his voice full of quiet gratitude. “He really did.”

    Luke glanced over at him, a faint grin on his face. “So… think we’ll ever fully ‘arrive’? You know, figure it all out?”

    James laughed softly. “Probably not. But maybe that’s the point. We don’t have to have it all figured out. We just have to keep trusting, keep walking the path.”

    “Together,” Luke added, his voice steady.

    “Together,” James echoed.

    They watched the fire slowly die down, the flames shrinking into glowing embers. The night around them deepened, but neither of them felt the weight of loneliness anymore. They had learned to carry their burdens—and each other—with grace.

    As the fire faded to soft, pulsing coals, James leaned back once more and gazed at the stars. Luke remained close, their shared silence a reflection of the peace that had taken root in both of their souls.

    This was brotherhood. This was healing. This was enough.

    (Chapter from a longer story about James and Luke, first story in a trilogy about these two characters. Contact me if you’d like to read the full story.)

  • Giving the Wound to Christ

    Brother, if you’ve seen the wound, named the lie, and know the truth in your head—but still feel the weight of it—this is for you.

    It’s one thing to recognize the wound. It’s another to give it to Christ and let Him redeem it. But what does that actually look like?

    Here’s where it starts:

    1. Stop Trying to Fix It Yourself

    We’ve spent years trying to prove our masculinity—trying to overcome the wound by being “man enough.” But healing doesn’t come through striving. It comes through surrender.

    That means admitting:

    “Lord, I can’t fix this. I’ve believed lies about myself for years, and I need You to replace them with truth.”

    That alone is hard. Because it means trusting His definition of us more than our own feelings, memories, or past experiences.

    2. Bring the Wound Into the Light

    Wounds fester in silence. The enemy wants you to keep it locked inside, to believe it’s just your burden to bear. But when you name it before God—when you bring it to a trusted brother, even—something shifts.

    When Jesus healed, He often asked, “What do you want Me to do for you?” Not because He didn’t know, but because naming it was part of the healing.

    So we bring it into the light:

    “Lord, I have believed I am less of a man. I have felt like I don’t belong. I give this to You—show me the truth.”

    And then, we listen. We let Him speak into it.

    3. Let God Redefine You Through Brotherhood

    Christ redeems our wounds, but He often does it through the hands and words of our brothers.

    When a brother sees you, challenges you, calls you his equal—not out of pity, but because he sees the man God made you to be—that’s healing in motion.

    You don’t become a man by proving yourself. You are a man because God made you one. The more you walk in real covenant, the more that truth sinks in.

    4. Walk in the Truth Before You Fully Feel It

    Here’s the hard part—choosing to believe what God says about you, even before your emotions catch up.

    That means when the old wound whispers, You don’t belong, you answer, That’s a lie. I am a son.

    When you feel like you’re on the outside looking in, you step in anyway. When brotherhood feels like something other men get, you stand in it as your birthright.

    Truth isn’t a feeling. It’s reality. And when we choose to walk in it, the wounds that once defined us start to fade.

    Brother, you don’t have to carry this alone. Christ is already in the work of redeeming it. You just have to give it to Him—again and again, until His truth is more real than the lies ever were.

    And He will finish what He started.

  • The Lie That Steals Sonship

    Brother, let’s talk about the wound most men don’t even realize they have. The one that starts early—so early, you can’t remember a time before it.

    Maybe it wasn’t a single moment, but a slow drift. Maybe it was a father who was there but distant, a brother who overshadowed you, a world that told you—subtly, persistently—you weren’t quite like the other boys.

    And then, the lie crept in:

    You don’t belong.

    You’re different.

    You’re not really a man.

    It wasn’t just about interests or personality. It was deeper. A gnawing sense that you missed something vital, that masculinity was something other men had—something you could admire, even long for, but never fully claim as your own.

    And for some of us, that’s where same-sex struggles first took root. Not as a choice, not as rebellion, but as a search for something we felt we lacked. The strength, the confidence, the belonging we thought we weren’t given. And because the world only knows how to frame male longing in sexual terms, that ache got twisted before we even knew what was happening.

    The enemy planted a lie in our boyhood, then spent years reinforcing it:

    You’ll never be one of them. You’re not enough. You’re something else.

    But brother, hear this: the enemy is a liar.

    God did not make a mistake when He made you a man. You are not an outsider to your own design. You are not less of a man because you don’t fit some narrow mold of strength or skill or stature.

    Masculinity is not about muscles or sports or how deep your voice is. It’s not something you earn. It’s something you are.

    You were born a son. Not half a son. Not a different kind of son. A son.

    The wound is real, but so is the healing. And it starts with rejecting the lie and stepping into the truth that was alwaysyours.

    You belong.

    You are enough.

    You are a man.

    Because God says so.

  • Covenant as Spiritual Warfare

    The enemy hates brotherhood.

    He always has.

    Because when men stand alone, they’re easy targets. But when they stand together—really together, in truth and covenant—the enemy has no foothold.

    This fight isn’t just personal. It’s not just about temptation, addiction, or loneliness. It’s about war. And the battlefield is littered with men who never knew they were even in a fight.

    The Enemy’s Strategy: Isolate, Twist, and Distort

    From the beginning, the enemy’s tactics haven’t changed.

    1. He isolates—makes a man feel like he’s the only one who struggles, the only one who feels this way, the only one who doesn’t belong. Isolation is his first and strongest weapon, because a man cut off from real brotherhood is already half-defeated.

    2. He twists—takes something good and bends it. The longing for brotherhood becomes sexualized. The hunger for affirmation becomes codependency. The need for strength turns into pride, or worse, passivity.

    3. He distorts—redefines manhood into something either unattainable or meaningless. Either you’re not enough of a man, or being a man doesn’t even matter. Either way, the result is the same: confusion, doubt, weakness.

    And the worst part? He convinces men that this is just how it is. That there’s no way back. That no one else sees the battle.

    But that’s a lie.

    Brotherhood is a Weapon

    Covenant brotherhood isn’t just nice to have—it’s a weapon forged for war. It defends, it strengthens, it breaks chains.

    • When a brother is isolated, covenant pulls him back. “You’re not alone. I see you. I stand with you.”

    • When a brother believes lies, covenant speaks truth. “That’s not who you are. This is who God says you are.”

    • When a brother is weak, covenant holds him up. “Lean on me. I’ll fight with you until you can fight for yourself.”

    This is why the enemy fights so hard to destroy male friendships, to make brotherhood uncomfortable, to make men second-guess their closeness with each other. Because when men walk in true covenant, chains break. Strongholds fall. And hell loses ground.

    The War is Won Together

    Brother, you were never meant to fight alone. The battles you’ve faced—whether against addiction, fear, loneliness, shame—were never meant to be yours to carry by yourself.

    And the men around you? They’re in the fight too. Some of them just don’t know it yet.

    So if you have covenant brothers, hold them close. If you don’t, find them. Because this isn’t just about friendship—it’s about survival.

    And in the end, when the dust settles, it won’t be the lone warriors still standing.

    It’ll be the men who stood together.

  • Ethan’s Testimony: A Love That Holds The Line

    I spent most of my life looking for love in the wrong places. I didn’t think they were wrong at the time—I thought I was just following what came natural. What the world told me was me.

    But the thing about chasing something to fill the emptiness is that, sooner or later, you start to realize it’s not working. And that’s where I was when I met Ted—running, restless, tired of trying to fit into a mold that never felt right, but scared to admit I had no idea who I was without it.

    At first, I didn’t know what to make of him. A steady, no-nonsense Southern guy who didn’t say much unless it mattered. I wasn’t looking for a mentor. Definitely wasn’t looking for a friend. But somehow, without either of us meaning to, we ended up with something bigger.

    Covenant.

    I didn’t even know what that word meant outside of a church setting. And let’s be real, I wasn’t sure I wanted anything to do with church. But Ted never shoved faith down my throat. He just lived it, breathed it, showed me something real. And somewhere along the way, I stopped fighting it.

    I stopped fighting him, too.

    Because what we have? It’s not friendship in the way the world understands it. It’s deeper than that. It’s the kind of bond that holds the line when everything else pulls.

    People don’t get it. They assume things. Or they try to box it into categories that don’t fit. But the truth is, I spent my whole life thinking love had to look a certain way, had to be a certain way. And I was wrong.

    Love is a man standing beside you when the past comes knocking. It’s knowing that no matter what hits, you’re not standing alone.

    It’s a love that doesn’t ask for anything but gives everything.

    It’s what Ted and I chose.

    And I don’t care who doesn’t understand it.

    Because I know, now, that I wasn’t made to chase. I was made to stand.

    And I’m not standing alone.

    (Fictional testimony from a character in the Ethan and Ted series, contact me if you’d like to read these stories)

  • Ted’s Testimony: A Bond That Holds

    I’ve lived long enough to know that most folks don’t understand the kind of bond Ethan and I have. And I don’t blame ‘em. The world’s lost the language for it.

    Men don’t talk like this much anymore—not about love, not about needing each other. We’re supposed to be independent, self-sufficient. Even in the church, we talk a lot about brotherhood, but we keep it at arm’s length. Nothing too deep, nothing too close.

    I thought I’d made peace with that. I had my wife. My family. When she passed, I figured that part of my life was over. Love like that—covenant love—belonged to marriage, and anything else was just friendship, good but not the same. I settled into singleness, into faith, into the quiet. And then Ethan showed up.

    I didn’t expect him to matter to me. Not the way he does now. At first, I was just helping him find his footing. But somewhere along the way, God did something I wasn’t looking for. He gave me a brother.

    I don’t mean a friend, though Lord knows he’s that too. I mean someone who’s bound to me in a way I can’t shake, don’t want to shake. Someone I’d go to war for. Someone I carry in my prayers every night, not because I feel obligated, but because his burdens are mine now. Because I love him.

    Yeah, I said it. Love.

    That word gets twisted up these days. Either it means romance, or it’s watered down ‘til it don’t mean much at all. But what Ethan and I have—what we chose—it’s the kind of love that Christ calls us to. The kind that says, I’m not leaving. I’m standing with you, come what may.

    And it ain’t always easy. We’re different. He’s restless where I’m steady. He overthinks what I take on faith. And we’ve had our moments where the past—the broken, tangled parts of us—tried to twist what God was building. But grace holds. We hold.

    Covenant ain’t something you stumble into. It’s something you choose.

    Ethan chose me, and I chose him. Not because we needed saving, but because we needed keeping.

    And I thank God every day that He saw fit to give me a brother before I left this earth.

    (Fictional testimony from a character in the Ethan and Ted series, contact me if you’d like to read these stories)

  • When the Old Wiring Flickers

    Brother, let’s talk about it.

    You’re walking this road—committed to Christ, to covenant, to keeping love pure. You’ve left behind the old ways, the old habits, the old traps. But then it happens.

    A moment. A flicker. A hum deep in your chest, or lower.

    Not lust, not a craving to sin—just… something. That old wiring sparking, the way your mind was trained to read closeness, the echoes of a world that twisted brotherhood into something else.

    Maybe it’s a laugh that lands just right. Maybe it’s the way trust feels too good because you’ve only ever known it with strings attached. Maybe it’s just the simple weight of being seen, known, cared for by another man—and your soul, even your flesh, shaped by old missteps, isn’t quite sure how to hold it steady.

    And the enemy? He’s quick to whisper:
    See? You haven’t changed. This is who you are. You’re just fighting the inevitable.

    Lies. All of it.

    The hum isn’t sin. The flicker isn’t failure. It’s just a sign that you’re still learning, still unlearning, still handing the deepest parts of your heart over to God.

    What matters is what you do next.

    How Covenant Brothers Handle It

    You name it. You don’t pretend it’s not there, don’t shove it down in shame. You look it in the eye and say, “That’s just old wiring, not truth.”

    You pray through it. Right there, in the moment. Simple, direct—“Lord, I feel this. I give it to You. Make it holy.”

    You trust your brother. Don’t panic, don’t pull back, don’t let the enemy make you feel like you need to run. If he’s a true covenant brother, he gets it. And if he feels it too? You both hold the line together. No fear, no weirdness—just honesty, accountability, and Christ at the center.

    You let God rewire you. Every time you choose faith over fear, truth over temptation, God is retraining your heart. Teaching you what real brotherhood looks like—strong, committed, untwisted by sin.

    Brotherhood Is Stronger Than the Hum

    Brother, the world tells you the hum means you’re bound to fall. That deep male love always has to turn into something else. That you can’t trust yourself, or your brothers, or even God to hold you steady.

    But that’s a lie.

    You are not a slave to your past. You are not at the mercy of every flicker, every spark. You are free. And covenant brotherhood? It’s not fragile. It’s not some tightrope you have to walk carefully, scared of slipping. It’s strong, forged in Christ, able to hold even the weight of old wounds and old wiring.

    So next time that hum rises up? Take a breath. Name it. Pray through it. Trust your brother. And keep moving forward.

    You are not alone in this. And you are not falling.

    -You’re just learning what it means to love deep—without fear.

  • When God Rewires the Heart

    I used to think this would never change.

    The hum, the way closeness stirred something low—like an instinct I couldn’t unlearn. I’d sit in the tension, knowing what I wanted was good, but feeling it tangled up with something that wasn’t.

    Brotherhood was supposed to be simple. So why didn’t it feel that way?

    At first, I did what most men do—I either fed it or feared it. Either way, it had power over me. Either way, I felt like I was losing.

    But God doesn’t just call us away from something—He calls us toward something better. And over time, I started to see it.

    The rewiring wasn’t about flipping a switch. It was slow. Quiet. Subtle at first, almost unnoticeable.

    It looked like realizing I could feel the hum and not have to do anything about it. That I didn’t have to follow through, even in my own mind.

    It looked like trust growing—trust in my brothers, trust in myself, trust in God most of all. Trust that He was holding me steady, that I wasn’t walking a tightrope, one wrong step from falling. That He wasn’t just calling me to resist, but to heal.

    It looked like the old hunger changing, softening—not disappearing overnight, but shifting, little by little, until one day I noticed:

    I don’t feel this the same way anymore.

    The hum still comes sometimes, but it’s different now. It doesn’t shake me. It doesn’t whisper lies. It’s just a feeling, passing like a wave, while something stronger stands firm underneath.

    Brotherhood isn’t fragile. Love between men isn’t dangerous. It’s holy when it’s in Christ.

    And maybe the rewiring is just God teaching me to finally believe that.

  • Brotherhood Isn’t Made—It’s Found

    It’s easy to think brotherhood is something we have to build from scratch. Like it’s some rare, fragile thing that has to be carefully constructed, held together by effort and good intentions.

    But that’s not the truth.

    Brotherhood isn’t something we create—it’s something we recognize. Something we step into. It’s already there, woven into the design of manhood by the One who made us.

    Think about it—before you ever longed for a brother to walk with, God had already set the pattern. David and Jonathan didn’t invent their bond. Jesus didn’t assemble His disciples like a team-building exercise. Paul and Timothy didn’t force their connection.

    God wrote brotherhood into the foundation of how men are meant to live. The only reason it feels rare today is because we’ve ignored it, let it atrophy, or bought the lie that men are meant to go at it alone.

    But look at how men naturally operate. We bond through shared struggle, through battle, through standing shoulder to shoulder with someone who gets it. That’s not just culture—that’s creation. Brotherhood was always meant to be a cornerstone of our lives, not a side note.

    So what’s the move?

    If brotherhood is already there, waiting, then our job isn’t to “make it happen.” Our job is to open our eyes. To recognize when God is putting a brother in our path. To step into the covenant He’s already laid before us. To stop treating deep, Christ-centered friendships like a bonus and start living like they’re essential.

    Brother, you don’t have to force this. You just have to show up. The Author has already written it—now it’s time to walk it out.

  • Letter to a Brother

    My Brother,

    Been a minute, hasn’t it? Too long since I’ve heard your voice—that creek soul humming through—or seen that half-smirk you throw when I’m rambling too much. I’m sitting here, pen scratching this old notebook, coffee’s gone cold next to me, and I’m feeling the miles between us. Not sure where you’re at right now, but I know you’re out there, carrying that fire, that deep water I’ve always leaned on.

    Man, I miss you. Miss the nights we’d kick back on my rickety porch, Carolina crickets singing loud, your boots propped on the rail, my guitar picking something lazy. Remember that summer we rebuilt that junked-out Chevy? You cursing the rust, me laughing ‘til I couldn’t breathe, grease up to our elbows, radio crackling Mom’s hymns mixed with some Springsteen. We didn’t finish ‘til dawn, watched the sun climb over the pines—quiet, steady, just us. That’s us, building something outta nothing, holding it together when it wants to fall apart.

    I don’t know why we’re apart now—life’s got its way of pulling—but I feel it, that ache where you usually sit. You’re the creek—wild, deep, always moving—I’m the pine—rooted, steady, soaking you in. We’ve walked some roads—six years deep now, since that first night at the diner, your fries drowning in ketchup, my coffee black as tar—talking ‘til they kicked us out. You spilled your soul—city scars, restless drift—I spilled mine—lost years, faith’s pull. Didn’t know then we’d be brothers—not just dudes, but brothers—covenant carved in the quiet.

    You’ve got that spark—always have—pushing me to see bigger. I’ve got the steady—keeping us grounded when your water runs fast. Remember that hike, two summers back, when we got lost chasing some trail nobody’d marked? You laughed it off—‘Josh, we’re fine, God’s got us’—I grumbled ‘til we found the ridge—then stood there, wind whipping, you grinning like a fool. That view—mountains rolling forever—I still see it when I close my eyes. You pull me out—make me feel the wild—I hold you back—keep your feet on the path. That’s us.

    I’m not gonna lie, it’s quieter without you. Too quiet sometimes. Got the guitar out last night—strummed that old tune we wrote, the one about the road and the river—couldn’t finish it. Kept hearing your voice on the chorus—rough, real, cutting through my lazy chords. I need that, man—your fire stirring mine—your heart calling me up when I settle too long.

    Wherever you’re at, I’m praying for you—same as always. That creek of yours—keep it flowing—don’t let the world dam it up. I know you’re wrestling—always are—but you’re not solo. God’s got you—I’ve got you—miles don’t change that. Lean into Him—lean into us—covenant doesn’t bend, doesn’t break.

    I’ll keep the porch light on—coffee hot—waiting for you to roll back through. Bring that smirk—those wild eyes—tell me what you’ve seen, what’s burning in you. I’ll have the guitar ready—maybe we’ll finish that song—sit ‘til dawn again, like old times.

    You’re my brother—my creek—my road partner—my spark—don’t you forget it. I ain’t whole without you—not really. So take your time—but not too long, yeah? I’m here—always.

    Yours, steady as the pines,
    Josh

  • Iron Sharpens Iron

    Why do men need each other?

    I think it comes down to three things: how we strengthen, how we understand, and how we walk together.

    1. Strength Through Struggle

    Men forge each other through resistance. Women nurture, and that’s a gift, but men? We test, challenge, push. We’re built to sharpen one another, not by coddling but by contending. You see it in the way brothers wrestle as kids, in the way soldiers bond in battle, in the way accountability between men works best when it’s direct—no sugarcoating, no sidestepping.

    A good brother in Christ won’t just encourage you—he’ll call you out, push you past your limits, and refuse to let you settle. He’ll see your potential and demand more, because he knows that strength isn’t just given, it’s forged.

    2. The Unspoken Understanding

    Men don’t have to explain everything to each other. We get it. The weight of responsibility, the pressure to lead, the fight against sin and self-doubt—it’s built into us, and another man knows that struggle without needing a thousand words.

    That’s why men bond through doing—through work, through hardship, through side-by-side silence. We don’t always need to process verbally; sometimes we just need another man who understands the fight and stands next to us in it.

    3. Walking the Narrow Road Together

    A good wife can be a partner, but she can’t be a brother. A woman can love, support, and respect a man, but she can’t be him—can’t reflect back to him the exact nature of his struggle. That’s why brotherhood is necessary, even for men who are happily married. Because some battles require men beside you, not just a woman behind you.

    Jesus surrounded Himself with brothers. David found strength in Jonathan. Paul didn’t walk alone. If these men of God needed brotherhood, what makes us think we don’t?

    Brotherhood isn’t just a good idea—it’s part of God’s design. And in a world that wants men to go at it alone, covenant is the answer.

  • Wild Quiet

    Twilight hung soft over the Tennessee mountains, the fire’s glow fading to embers as Ethan and Ted crouched by the lake’s edge. Fish sizzled over a makeshift grill, smoke curling thick with pine into the cooling air. Six months in Willow Creek had them moving easy—Ethan speared a trout with a stick, flipping it deftly against the flames, while Ted fed the fire with steady hands. The wilderness hummed gentle around them, lake water lapping soft at the shore.

    Ethan smirked. “Fish beats gas station coffee—finally some payoff.”

    Ted chuckled low, poking the coals with a twig. “Told ya—out here’s better. Simple fixin’ does it.” His voice rolled steady, rural calm threading through, eyes soft on the fire.

    Ethan leaned back on his haunches, stick steady in his grip, watching flames lick the fish. “Back there—coffee shops, late nights—I was a mess. Chasing shadows. Landed here. You’ve been more than solid. Your questions pull me out. Trust comes easy with you. Thanks for that.”

    Ted’s gaze lifted, met Ethan’s—soft, steady—a flicker of warmth passing quiet between them. “You’ve held your own. More’n you reckon. Your spark’s a jolt—keeps me laughin’, thinkin’. Companionship I didn’t figure on. Thank you for stayin’.”

    Ethan’s smirk softened, voice quieter now. “Didn’t think I’d stick. Figured I’d bolt. Your faith’s got me. Steady’s one thing, but you ground me. Keep me real. Thanks for holding that.”

    Ted hummed—Clara’s old hymn faint under his breath, gentle and deep. “Faith’s held me. Mom’s tunes, Elaine’s hand. You comin’ along—your grit’s a fire. Trust grew quick with you—keeps me from settlin’ too still. Means plenty. Thanks for bringin’ that.”

    The mountains stretched dark, lake’s shimmer fading to black. Ethan speared another fish and passed it to Ted. Their fingers brushed, light and warm. Ethan’s breath eased. Ted took it with a nod and speared a piece back.

    Quiet stretched between them, fire’s glow framing their ease. Six months binding them tighter. Ethan’s city drift softened. Ted’s steady calm a mirror.

    Faith hummed gentle in the air.

    Ted shifted closer, his arm sliding around Ethan’s shoulders, warm and sure. Ethan held still a beat, then eased in. His arm settled around Ted, comfort sinking deep.

    The wilderness cradled them as night fell full by the firelight.

    (Chapter from Steady as the Pines in the Ethan & Ted series, contact me if interested in the whole story)

  • Alone in a Crowded World

    Brother, let’s be real. You feel it. The weight. The quiet. That hollow space inside you that nothing seems to fill.

    Maybe you don’t call it loneliness. Maybe you just say you’re tired, busy, not in the mood to talk. But deep down, you know. You scroll, you distract, you keep moving—but when the noise dies down, it’s just you. And it’s not enough.

    God didn’t design you to walk this life alone.

    He made you for connection. Not just casual friendships, not just Sunday morning acquaintances, but real, deep, unshakable brotherhood. The kind where a man sees you, really sees you, and doesn’t flinch. Where you can be honest—about your struggles, your doubts, your sins—and instead of turning away, your brother stands firm.

    That’s what Christian brotherhood does. It brings God’s love to life.

    We know God is with us. We know He never leaves us. But sometimes, in the thick of it, we need that truth to be flesh and blood. We need a brother who says, “You’re not carrying this alone. I’m with you. God is with you.” A brother who reminds us of grace when we forget, who speaks truth when the enemy’s lies are loud, who lifts us up when we stumble.

    Jesus didn’t walk alone. He surrounded Himself with men He called brothers. He built a bond so strong that when Peter fell, Jesus restored him. So why do we act like we’re supposed to do this on our own?

    The world offers cheap substitutes for belonging. More apps, more distractions, more ways to stay “connected” without ever actually being known. But covenant brotherhood? It’s God’s answer to that ache inside you.

    So what do you do?

    You lean in. You ask God for the kind of brothers who will fight for you in prayer, who will call you to holiness, who will walk with you no matter what. And you be that brother for someone else. Because, brother, you are not meant to be alone.

    And in Christ, you never are.

  • Brotherhood Over Everything

    (Scene: Jason and Eli sit in Jason’s beat-up Honda outside a gas station. Jason’s slumped in the driver’s seat, staring at his hands like they’ve let him down. Eli’s sprawled in the passenger seat, sipping a cherry Slurpee like the world’s all good.)

    Jason: “Dude. I think I’m broken.”

    Eli: (deadpan) “Yeah, I could’ve called that back when you thought that mullet was a good idea in tenth grade.”

    Jason: (gives him a look) “Not like that, idiot. I mean… I don’t fit anywhere. Like, Christians think I’m sus, and the world thinks I’m repressed. Feels like no matter what I do, I’m gonna disappoint someone.”

    Eli: “So stop trying to fit into their boxes.” (slurps loudly)

    Jason: (groans) “That’s not helpful.”

    Eli: “No, really. You act like you’ve only got two choices: be fake, or give in. What if neither of those is what God actually wants for you?”

    Jason: (leans back, stares at the roof) “Yeah? So what does He want? Me to be single forever and just, like… die alone?”

    Eli: (snorts) “Wow. Dramatic. No, bro. He wants you to stop thinking love only counts if it’s romantic. You ever notice how Jesus had deep friendships? How David and Jonathan were tight? You think they were just… kinda friends? No, man. That was brotherhood. Covenant. Ride-or-die kinda love.”

    Jason: (softly) “I want that. I just don’t know how to get it.”

    Eli: “You don’t ‘get it.’ You build it. You find the right people, and you show up. You put in the work. You let yourself need people, which I know is hard for you, Mr. I-Don’t-Do-Feelings.”

    Jason: (half-smirks) “Shut up.”

    Eli: “I’m serious, Jase—you’re not messed up. You’re wired for something deep. The world’s just twisted how we see it. God? He’s all about brotherhood—designed it that way. Stop chasing the cheap stuff—hookups, whatever. That’s not you.”

    (Jason exhales, nods. The weight in his chest feels a little lighter. Eli, sensing the moment has gone too deep for too long, slurps obnoxiously again.)

    Jason: (rolling his eyes) “I hate you.”

    Eli: (grinning) “Nah, you love me. Brother.”

    They sat there—the car creaking under them—gas station lights buzzing faint—a quiet hum settling in. Jason didn’t have it all sorted—but for once, that didn’t feel like a dead end.

  • When a Curse Becomes a Gift

    Brother, I know what it feels like to see your same-sex attraction as a burden. A struggle. A thing you have to wrestle down and keep in check. Maybe you’ve spent nights asking God why. Why this? Why me? If He loves me, why would He let me feel something I can’t act on?

    I get it. But what if I told you that the very thing you’ve spent years seeing as a curse might actually be a gift?

    Not a gift in the way the world wants to spin it—not a license to chase what feels natural. But a gift in the way God so often works, taking what the enemy meant for evil and using it for His glory.

    Think about it: in a culture where men have been conditioned to keep each other at arm’s length, to fear closeness, to settle for surface-level friendships, what if God has placed in you a unique capacity to love your brothers deeply? To show them what covenant brotherhood actually looks like?

    The world has largely forgotten the kind of love that David and Jonathan had, the kind that Jesus Himself had with His disciples. We have replaced it with isolation, shallow camaraderie, or counterfeit intimacy. But perhaps, in His wisdom, God has allowed some of us to feel this longing more acutely—not to torment us, but to call us to something greater.

    Same-sex attraction, when surrendered to Christ, can be the very thing that teaches us how to love as He does. To cherish our brothers without needing to possess them. To walk alongside them without seeking anything in return. To form bonds that aren’t tainted by lust but strengthened by sacrifice.

    The temptation, of course, is real. But so is the opportunity. The world tells us we have only two choices: repression or indulgence. But Jesus offers us something else entirely—transformation. Not a stripping away of our ability to love, but a refining of it. A reordering. A way to channel it into something holy.

    So, brother, don’t despise what God can redeem. If you feel the weight of this longing, let it drive you toward the kind of love the world desperately needs. A love that builds up, that commits, that gives rather than takes.

    The enemy wants you to believe you are cursed. Christ wants to show you that you are called.

    And that, my friend, is a gift.

  • Why I Made This Blog

    The Journey to Covenant Brotherhood

    The short version of my story is that I identified as gay before Christ found me in 2022 and transformed my heart from the inside out. I struggled with pornography and cannabis, but those habits fell away quickly after my salvation. However, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with my sexual orientation, as my leanings did not change. Eventually, I embraced Kingdom singleness as my path, which remains my focus today.

    Despite this, there is still a strong and pure affection in my heart for men that feels distinct from other feelings that may have become intertwined. As I continued to read the Bible, I discovered the concept of covenant brotherhood, which resonated deeply with me as the missing piece I was seeking.

    I created this blog to make the idea of covenant brotherhood real for both myself and others, using fictional and historical examples along with repetition to rewire my thoughts to align with God’s intentions. Because this concept is part of God’s design for men, it is inherently real. Unfortunately, it has been largely forgotten through the ages, rendering it a foreign concept in today’s discussions about relationships and singleness.

    My goal is to change this paradigm for myself and lay the foundation for committed brotherhood in my life, if it aligns with God’s will. I also hope to do the same for others who might find this concept to be a missing piece in their journey.

    I’m not accustomed to putting myself out there like this, but it truly feels like where God is leading me, so here we are! If any of this blog’s content resonates with you, I would love to hear from you.

    Thank you for reading, and God bless!

    Brian

  • Letters of a Mentor

    (Chapter from Footsteps of Grace, a semi-fictional account of Paul and Timothy)

    The cell in Rome is cold, the stone walls weeping dampness that seeps into my bones. The flickering oil lamp casts shadows that dance like memories, and I sit with a scrap of parchment, my hands trembling—not from age alone, but that thorn, ever-present, gnawing at me in the silence. It’s sharper now, a relentless companion in these chains, but I’ve stopped asking God to take it. My grace is sufficient, He said, and I cling to that, even when the nights stretch long. The quill scratches as I write, my thoughts turning to Timothy.

    I see him still, that boy in Lystra, all wide eyes and eager heart, clutching his mother’s scroll like a lifeline. He’s no boy now—years on the road have hardened him, though his gentleness remains, a gift I never mastered. I write to him not as a master to a servant, but as a brother to a brother, a father to a son. “Timothy, my true child in the faith,” I begin, the words spilling out like water from a cracked jar. I tell him of the Gospel, of the churches he must strengthen, of the wolves he’ll face. But beneath it all, I’m telling him something else: You are enough.

    The thorn mocks me as I write—You’re fading, old man; who’ll carry this now?—but I smile through the ache. Timothy will. I saw it in Philippi, his voice rising with mine in that jail, steady even as the earth shook. I saw it in Ephesus, where he stood firm against false teachers while I languished here. He doesn’t see it yet, the strength God’s forged in him, but I do. “Fight the good fight,” I urge him, my script shaky but sure. “Keep the faith. Don’t let them despise your youth—your fire is your authority.”

    I pause, the lamp guttering low, and think of our covenant. It wasn’t sealed in a temple or with a ring, but in the dust of the road, the sting of whips, the quiet moments when he’d ask questions I couldn’t always answer. That thorn kept me low, stripped me of pride, and in its shadow, Timothy grew tall. I didn’t choose him because he was perfect—he wasn’t—but because he was willing. Willing to walk with me, to bear my silences, to stand when I couldn’t.

    “Stir up the gift within you,” I write, remembering the day I laid hands on him with the elders, the Spirit crackling like fire between us. He’d trembled then, unsure, but he’s not trembling now. I tell him of my chains, not to burden him but to free him—If I can endure, you can too. The thorn pricks at me, a reminder of my limits, but it’s no match for the grace that’s carried us both. “I’ve fought, I’ve finished,” I add, my chest tight with the weight of those words. “Now it’s yours to run.”

    The guard will come soon, the letter smuggled out by some faithful soul. I seal it not with wax, but with a prayer—that Timothy will read it and know he’s not alone, that our brotherhood stretches beyond these walls, beyond my last breath. The thorn may claim my peace tonight, but it won’t claim him. He’s my legacy, my brother in this unending fight, and God’s grace will hold him as it’s held me. I set the quill down, the lamp dies, and in the dark, I hear his voice—singing, steady, carrying on.

    (Chapter from a longer story, Footsteps of Grace, contact me if interested in full story.)

  • The Hum

    (Dialogue)

    Man, you ever feel it creep in?”  

    “What—you mean that hum?”  

    “Yeah. Like right now—us jawing here, close, and it’s good, but then bam, that flicker hits.”  

    “Every damn time. Ain’t full-on lust—just warm, weird, like my gut’s remembering old junk.”  

    “Got wired screwy—clips, scenes, whatever. That vibe—not banging, just… there.”  

    “Exactly. Got me hooked—homo hum, not queer. Soul stuff, but it’d spark hot sometimes.”  

    “Still does. Sitting here—your voice, your nod—it’s brotherhood, but that old pull sneaks up.”  

    “Same. Feel you get me—deep, real—and then it twists, like my heart’s half-stupid still.”  

    “Ain’t stupid—just trained wrong. Years of flicks—lit me up somehow.”  

    “Me too. Watched ‘em—felt it—not crossing lines—but it stuck ‘til faith.”  

    “Faith’s the kicker—Christ grabs it, says ‘Mine.’ Still hums, though—your laugh just now? Damn.”  

    “Caught that too—your look, steady. Ain’t chasing skin—just that spark, tangled in us.”  

    “Let’s name it—erotic, yeah, but not sex. Soul’s hungry—world don’t get that.”  

    “Nope. Says lust or lone—bull. Scripture’s got it—Jonathan, David, souls knit (1 Samuel 18:1).”  

    “Right—pure, strong. That hum? Old wiring—ghost junk. Ain’t us, not now.”  

    “Still trips me—feel it, freak a sec, then what? Don’t wanna wreck this.”  

    “Me neither—wrecking’s the old play. Recognize it—‘Hey, there’s the hum’—then let it sit.”  

    “Yeah—see it, don’t run. Ain’t sin ‘less I feed it. You steady when it hits?”  

    “Steady-ish—pray it down. ‘Lord, take this—keep us true.’ Refocus—us, Him, not the flicker.”  

    “Prayer’s clutch—‘Christ, hold it, bind us.’ That hum’s a shadow—brotherhood’s the meat.”  

    “Damn right—shadow don’t own us. Feel it, nod, shift—talk like this, cuts it clear.”  

    “Talking’s gold—naming it strips the power. You get me—hum or not—soul’s safe here.”  

    “Safe’s it—get you too, deep. That flicker? Fades when we lean in, not out.”  

    “Leaning in—yeah. Old junk’d say chase it—Christ says forge it. We’re forging, man.”  

    “Forging tight—this hum’s a test, not a boss. Bond’s stronger ‘cause we hash it.”  

    “Stronger every time—soul over spark. You’re my brother—hum don’t change that.”  

    “Nope—brother, full stop. Christ’s got us—refocused, forged. We’re good, man.”  

    “Real good—tighter now. That hum? Just noise—us? Solid as hell.”

  • Splinters and Grace

    (Testimony, fiction)

    I’m Josh—52, carpenter, hands worn from planing oak and a life I nearly split wide. Grew up in Indiana, preacher’s kid—Dad’s sermons boomed, Mom stitched quilts to hold us steady. Church was duty—Sunday ties, guilt for thoughts I couldn’t shake. Bolted at 16—roofed houses in summer, shoveled snow in winter. Twenties and thirties blurred—bar shifts, steel mill nights, chasing calm in dim glow. Men tugged me—not women—something rooted, not romance. Hid it in bottles and screens.

    Mill shut at 35—learned carpentry under an old vet, cig smoke and soft cusses. Married at 38—Ellen, kind, flower shop gal—thought it’d anchor me. Four years, done by 42—couldn’t close the distance, not her fault. She dreamed of kids; I chased peace I couldn’t grab. Alone, I’d watch clips—two guys sharing a woman, laughing close, not lovers. That pull—warm, not wild—stirred me deep, a bond I misread ‘til it sank in.

    Hit bottom at 47—laid off, whiskey-drowned, shop gone. A roofing pal hauled me to a prayer night—Christ met me, not with fire, but a steady lift (Psalm 40:2—out of the mire). Five years in faith—still feel that hum, a guy’s easy grin at the lumber yard, echoes of those scenes. Not chasing flesh—just connection, quiet and true, His now.

    Heart’s ache? Brotherhood—real, not barstool chatter. Thought I’d end solo—shamed for loving men my way, wired off by old reels. Faith’s teaching me—grace don’t fit molds. Men can love men—pure, strong—outside the lines (1 Samuel 18:1—souls tied, no script). Talks with others seeking this—they’re showing faith’s a joiner’s craft, not a lone cut.

    Struggles linger—quiet nights pinch, that hum flares when I’m beat. But I’m learning—prayer steadies, men lift men. Covenant’s no dream—it’s hands clasped, hearts open, Christ in the grain (John 15:15—friends, not strangers). Soul’s waking—splinters don’t own me, grace does. This path—rare, real—teaches love ain’t what I feared, but what He builds.

  • Battlefield Vow

    They told Jake it was just another mission. In, secure the target, out. No different from the dozen before it. But as he crouched in the ruins of a half-bombed village, the heat of gunfire pressing in from all sides, he knew better.

    They were cut off. No reinforcements. No exit. Just him and Logan—his closest friend, his brother in everything but blood—pinned in an alley, backs against the crumbling stone.

    Logan winced as he pressed a shaking hand to his side, blood slick between his fingers. “Ain’t gonna make it,” he muttered.

    Jake clenched his jaw. “Shut up.”

    “Jake—”

    “I said shut up.” His hands worked fast, tying a field dressing, ignoring the way Logan’s breath hitched. “You’re not dying here.”

    Logan let out a sharp, breathless laugh. “Don’t get sentimental on me now.”

    Jake grabbed him by the collar, forcing their eyes to meet. “You listen to me,” he growled. “We get out of this. Together.”

    Logan’s expression softened—not in surrender, but in something deeper. Trust.

    Jake exhaled sharply. “I need you, man.” His voice was rough, raw. “I can’t do this without you.”

    Something flickered in Logan’s tired eyes. Strength.

    “You won’t have to,” he rasped.

    Gunfire ripped through the air, closer now. Jake didn’t hesitate. He threw Logan’s arm over his shoulder, hefting his weight. “On three,” he muttered.

    Logan nodded, his grip tightening.

    They moved as one.

    Bullets screamed past, but they ran anyway. Through fire, through pain, through the thin line between life and death.

    Because they had made a vow—unspoken, but understood.

    Whatever happened, neither would leave the other behind.

    Not here. Not ever.

    By the time they reached the extraction point, Logan was barely conscious, his breath coming in ragged pulls. Jake lowered him onto the steel ramp of the evac chopper, barking orders at the medic.

    As hands reached to take Logan, he grabbed Jake’s wrist, his grip weak but insistent.

    “Pray,” he rasped.

    Jake froze. Logan had never asked for that before. Never even talked much about God beyond half-hearted curses and offhand remarks.

    But now, in the space between life and death, it was the only thing that mattered.

    Jake pressed a hand over Logan’s and bowed his head.

    “Lord,” he whispered, voice breaking. “Don’t take him. Not yet.”

    He swallowed hard, his grip tightening. “And if You do… then You’d better let me go with him.”

    The medic shouted something, pushing Jake back as the chopper lifted off.

    Jake stood there, breath ragged, watching his brother disappear into the sky.

    He didn’t know what tomorrow would hold. But he knew this—if God let Logan stay, they wouldn’t waste another minute.

    They had made it through hell together. And if they got another shot at life, they’d live it the only way that mattered.

    As brothers. In faith. In covenant.

    No matter what came next.